Deep Waters

Mentoring Ministry‚Äč

Pepper is her name and pooping anywhere other than outside is her game. At least that's been the case lately. I love our 4 year old pit mix, I, and I alone (My wife Liz is pretty much out on her). She's spunky, cute, funny, and always down to cuddle while I'm watching a show or reading a good book (I'm still talking about Pepper, just to clarify, although many of these adjectives also describe Liz). But, she's also a good ol' fashioned stinker. She steals food when we aren't looking, sneaks in licks of our toddler whenever she can (he hates it, and screams), and mischievously takes off with any and all items that aren't hers and chews them up without any regard for the owner of said item. 


Truth be told, I despised Pepper when we first got her. My wife, Liz, wanted a dog. I didn't. And she was a bad dog. But in a tale as old as time, Liz soon started to find Pepper irritating, and I fell in love with her. While Liz can see every wrong Pepper commits, I struggle to see anything she does as anything but adorable (except for pooping in the house, of course). 


Now obviously Pepper doesn't fit the mold for the type of dog that could be your best friend. As cute as she is, she's a nuisance (I'm not so blind with love that I can't see a least some of the truth), but I want to process why the saying 'A dog is man's best friend' likely came about. Dogs are loyal, affectionate, loving, and quick to forget our foibles. We can yell at them one minute, and the next they're back in our laps, lovingly gazing into our eyes. When we get home from work, they bound with the enthusiasm of a late freight train to the door to welcome us home.  With dogs, we can do no wrong. And this is why they shouldn't be our best friends. 


Proverbs 27:6 says, 'Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.' A real friend tells you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear, even when it hurts. How many friends do you have like that? In my experience they are few and far between. What makes them so valuable is that they love you so much they are willing to wound you with an important truth in the moment, even if it negatively affects your friendship for a time, to set you up for long term success in the future. As Liz likes to say, we always need someone in our lives who 'isn't impressed with us.' We always need someone who knows our story, knows our mistakes, knows our ongoing issues, and who will push us to be better, while all the while loving us, encouraging us, praying for us, and rooting for us. 


When it comes to sexual purity, to be honest, I haven't met many men who are in good places with it. Most men say they are 'doing ok,' and want to leave it at that. And I get it. I used to answer in the same way (if I was even willing to acknowledge that is was a struggle at all). In addition to this, some men say they're doing 'pretty good,' but when I ask them what 'pretty good' means, their standard seems much lower than God's (Ephesians 5:3 'But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immortality, or of any kind of impurity...' Again, I can relate). 


So, where does this leave us? I think instead of only having or being the type of friend who's a 'dog' (always loves you and never challenges you or tells you what you need to hear), we need to be and have some friends who are 'dawgs' (always love you, and are willing to challenge and push you for your good) in our lives. If you want to join a community of men who are 'dawgs,' let's schedule a meeting and chat. Our open zoom group might be a good fit for you, and I'd like to hear your story and tell you a bit about it. It meets on Sundays from 9pm-10pm to offer a consistent and safe place for men to connect with other men who are struggling with sexual purity, but who also want to fight, and know that they can't do it alone. We all need some dawgs in our life, and we've got a pack that meets every Sunday night that we'd love for you to join. 

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Weekly 1 hour one-on-one meeting with
Ken to cover content
tailored to indivdual's specific needs.
Duration: 4,6, or 8 weeks 

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6 meetings: $429 

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Ken speaks at men's retreats as well as one off events, offering both lecture based messages and interactive

workshops on topics such as: Living a life of sexual integrity, practical steps  to fight sexual sin, creating a personalized battle plan, and more.  

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Weekly 1 hour in person or closed zoom group of 6-8 men will read and discuss the book 'Surfing for God' with Ken, and cover other related content.
Duration: 9 weeks
 Cost: $199 

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